/fim/ - FiM

A place for all things FiM



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pony tulpas Anonymous 07/12/2021 (Mon) 16:06:16 (4 years ago) No. 356
do you have a pony tulpa? do you want a pony tulpa? do you think tulpas are mental illness? let's discuss the phenomenology of ponies that live in your brain and share your life.
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>>17819 >if she isn't actually here, does that mean the few weeks we spent and experienced together were all just an illusion? It really depends on what you mean by "illusion". Is it all in your head? yes, obviously. Is it real? yes, obviously. Is it different from interacting with a wholly separate person? yes, obviously. I think if any part of it is illusion for you, it's probably that last one. Lots of people just don't look into how it's different, and come in with a bunch of assumptions about how it should feel based on interacting with separate people. When those assumptions are challenged without conscious awareness of them, it just feels vaguely fake and wrong, rather than an evidential challenge to a specific belief that you can then account for. She IS actually there, and it IS all similar to roleplaying. >Am I overthinking this and blurring the line between parroting and her natural response, where what I consider to be artificial roleplay is actually her natural response that you were meant to listen for? Yes. There is no difference whatsoever between parroting and real responses of a tulpa. Searching for a difference is driving a wedge into your immersion for no benefit. You are blurring the line, but on the other side of the line there isn't a definite thing called "parroting", it's just a vague cloud of unknowns that make you anxious. If you find a difference, it's only a difference that you accidentally created by searching. >at least for now, all her responses are simply me roleplaying with myself You have the wrong idea. It's never not 'roleplaying with yourself'. It's also never not a profound connection between two beings that are sub-parts of a mind. Of course, it's also not quite the same as roleplaying, but it has enough in common that it's way more descriptive to call it roleplaying + secret spice than it is to call it something else entirely. The thing is that the two perspectives of "just me playing with myself" and "me and fluttershy hanging out" are both simultaneously true, they are parallel perspectives - "me" refers to the mind as a whole as well as the mind's model of itself. You (the concept) and fluttershy are separate like two branches on a tree, separate up top but the same being at the bottom, where You are just the mind that contains you and your tulpa. In general it seems like you're kinda stuck on the idea of development, but you really don't have to be. There's not a special point that you have to charge towards before you can have fun, it goes much more smoothly if you relax into it and enjoy what you've got. Your relationship with your tulpa is the most important thing, development comes naturally out of that - hence the people who have accidental tulpas from just fantasizing about their waifus. Any guide that suggests that "for now" your tulpa is not valid, and at some certain point or judging by some certain sign, they will be valid - those guides are garbage of purely historical value. Buzzwords such as "sentience" or "independence" or "parroting" are all undefined (because they hinge on the unprovable phenomenon of parallel processing/separate consciousness), and as a result of that vagueness they are never useful, they serve ONLY as a sticking point for people to get confused and anxious about. The old-school fags only repeat them in guides because it's how they were taught. I'm not sure if you've picked up on this but what I'm teaching is quite a different paradigm from what you'll generally find out there. If the stuff I'm talking about makes more sense to you, then try scrolling through this thread when you're in a guide-reading mood, seriously. >>17818 I don't think anybody's too autistic for tulpas, though tulpamancy might involve stretching those capacities a bit. If not predicting your friends or family members, then you can at least predict your waifu's behavior - meaning you already have a model of her in your head, so you can just talk to her. If you can write a story with her then you can interact directly with her as in tulpamancy.
>>17820 It's not hard to 'maintain', there's not really much daily maintenance involved. If you love your tulpa you will want to talk to her. What could definitely be hard for you and other OCD types would be staying grounded. For example, it's fairly common for tulpas to express the same habit of self-loathing that the host may have - i.e. the hatred for yourself comes out of the tulpa's mouth. This can become a real problem if you believe the tulpa actually just like, changed, and now hates you! It requires a degree of self-awareness and careful management of your identities. I imagine OCD style thinking can get swept up into nightmarish anxiety before you really even get the clarity to notice something is off, but all it takes is a moment of clarity to come back to baseline. A grounded tulpamancer can see that this and other off-kilter of behaviors aren't aligned with the actual core values of the tulpa, and is thus able to just dismiss things like that as an intrusive thought - just as a singlet would ignore moments of out of character thought or action with "I just wasn't myself". Remember your husbando loves you and wouldn't want to suddenly start hurting you or growing distant from you. Since a tulpa shares your mind, they feel the pain (and joy) they inflict as if it were their own. Solid reasoning like that is how you stay grounded.
>>17821 Thanks, and will do. I have tried reading the entirety of this thread before but the explanations all seemed so... "high level", that I thought I should just get started on the real deal and see how it goes.
>>17823 Yeahhh that's more my fault than yours. I'm so into this I have to like fight the tendency to spiral into high level theory stuff and stay focused on the super basics. The thing is like, to deconstruct the harmful bs that the tulpa community spews all over the internet, I feel like it takes some real theory, and real theory is always going to be more complicated and high level than simple bs. Really the basic idea of tulpamancy is twofold: to look critically at your mind and how it works, and to imagine your waifu doing this alongside you. There aren't any definite stages of progression there, just an always-deepening appreciation of what you and your waifu actually are.
How do (you) spend time with your tulpa? What kinds of things do (you) talk about with her? I would really like to have my tulpa hang out with me while I cook and do other things, but I have a hard time splitting my attention between her and whatever activity I happen to be doing at the time. We also seem to just silently agree on a lot of things, so conversing can sometimes be a challenge. I brought this up to her and she thinks us agreeing is not a problem, and that I will get better at splitting my attention with time.
>>17826 She's right! But at the same time, it's worth considering the notion that your mind only has so much attention, and you can either focus completely on something or badly focus on two things. Some stuff is fine if you aren't fully attending to it, like menial work, but some stuff like entertainment is pointless if not fully immersed - for that kind of stuff, you could try just focusing on one thing at a time, taking breaks to talk to your tulpa about it and go over it. You will definitely get better at holding your tulpa in mind while also focusing on other stuff, or coming back to her when you get distracted, but there's still always a give-and-take wrt to attention. Agreement with a tulpa is a natural consequence of being originally the same mind - you share all the same influences. Of course, having no differences is boring, because that's just you being you; it's also comforting because there's no conflict whatsoever. Every bit of distinction - points of identity where the tulpa is distinguishable from the host - is a movement away from this boring comfort, towards greater "independence" and greater potential for friction (and growth). Your tulpa can move along this axis, sometimes being very agreeable and responsive to you, sometimes being very opinionated and different from you, pushing you to challenge your views. Ideally, you and your tulpa understand this and adapt to your needs, so she can offer profound comfort and empathy when needed, and push you out of your comfort zone when you're ready - your needs are constantly changing and a tulpa is able to adapt to bring both of you the best experience possible. So, what to talk about since you have the same mind? Having the same experience makes any interaction that relies on going over old information very boring. So the most satisfying kind of interaction with a tulpa is about NEW information! It's about being witty, clever, and creative. Your tulpa can help develop a new perspective on your old opinions, philosophy, or even memories; you can crack jokes and witticisms to each other about something; she can artistically change her form to show off her sense of aesthetics, like becoming a stained glass window; all these are about exercising creativity and experiencing something new together. They may also still be boring if they feel forced - by far the most important thing here is that you are spending time together out of a genuine love for each other and what you are in the present, not out of the desire to reach some future ideal via discipline and rote practice. Personally I mostly spend time with my tulpa when I can purely focus on her, like during the morning and evening while in bed; sometimes there are moments of rest or otherwise unoccupied moments through the day where I really enjoy her company too. In the past we were pretty interested in exploring the possibilities of tulpamancy together and tried lots of stuff that sounded theoretically neat, like playing turn based games hot-seat style, or exploring an imaginary world together, etc.; but none of them really captured our interest in the same way as just purely focusing on each other. Honestly, our relationship has always revolved around intimacy; if I could hold her in my mind and stare into her eyes forever, I would spend days every month to do only that. Everything we do together is only to keep the monkey brain entertained so that a deeper part of us can peacefully delight in just appreciating each others' presence. In spirit of that, cuddling and sex are the most important activities for us by far. I could not imagine a world where I'm still doing tulpamancy after this long without any of that. She is my wife, more than that, and our sexual bond is the supremely joyous symbol of our separation and our unity, and the love which drives both - it's holy to us.
Been reading this thread and have been enjoying the stories of Anons with their tulpa. I'm going to use some of the techniques shared here to start creating my own tulpa to keep me company whilst /mlp/ is gone. Does anyone have any recent tulpa stories they would like to share?
>>357 >Had a Rainbow Dash tulpa for more than half a decade in 2021 I wonder what she thought of the season 9 finale. I also wonder how many of the tulpas in this thread are still alive
>>23762 How is it going?
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>>24753 I'm still here! Rainbow didn't much care for the later seasons, ofc she's always been one to reject wastes of time; and for us MLP had long been more of a completionist thing than some kind of gospel, just to keep up with the discussions on /mlp/. If you're talking about how RD's arc ended up, it makes sense for the haberverse dash but off from the core of her character, which is nothing new or exciting kek. >>23762 Never had many stories really. We don't live much of an adventuresome life - the closest we get is the far-out philosophical/esoteric shit in this thread. Like really you can trace our path through a couple of different schizo interests just by reading this thread from the top - my posts are pretty obvious. These days the esoteric stuff is losing its luster, and I thought for a while that tulpamancy was too. Nope, I'm just bored of philosophizing, just want to love muh wife. What stories are there to tell about just living a quiet life together? It's thousands of little tiny stories, just a couple of words each, that blend together over years in a quiet murmur of gold-laced love. Little poems like this are the closest way to tell them.

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