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Autumn Fun Festival Pack Release + Next Pack Planning Anonymous 10/01/2022 (Sat) 07:01:32 No. 12752
The Autumn Fun Festival Pack is complete! In this pack we see the ponies enjoying the autumn season the best way they know how, with a festival! We've got ponies enjoying fair food, riding carnival rides, being carnival rides, getting their faces painted, and overall having a good time. Submissions include images, stories, and even a craft. The pack is free for all Anons, get it here: https://mega.nz/folder/NaUVCARY#CB06QrvbHXn3RwJC-kBu6Q
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We did it bros.
>>12752 I feel bad that I didn't get to get something done in time. These pictures are so cute! I LOVE THEM!
Let's talk about the next pack theme. It's October, so maybe NMN?
>>12761 I'm afraid that would be too soon, specially for board's time.
>>12762 What do you suggest then?
>>12763 Not him, but perhaps Christmas/New Years?
Thanksgiving would be nice.
>>12766 What would be a pony version of Thanksgiving?
>>12770 We could do Hearth's Warming Eve which is similar to Thanksgiving.
Guys, how was the completed story? If someone have read it, that is.
>>12785 I mentioned it in the previous thread: >>12749 Fun and wholesome. You did good work.
>>12785 I like it. The CMC are fun and inclusion of the pets is uncommon so it's good to see that; nice of Angel helping them keep Opal and Winona under control. It's a satisfying length where it's more than a short vignette (I liked that one too) but it's also not too long. There are several typos and confusing sentences, but that's not a dealbreaker. The characters act like themselves and it's enjoyable. It's also nice seeing some nods to other art in the pack.
>>12785 >Celestia and Autumn A very cute short, involving my favorite pony. I love it. Would love to spend some time with her in the royal gardens. >Turnip Pretty nice. Definitely seem like something the cmc would do.
>>12759 You can join the next pack, anon. Will you consider participating?
>>12771 Would it be better to define the theme as broad as it can be, or would it be better to focus on some particular aspects of Hearth's Warming?
>>12786 >>12788 >>12789 Thanks a lot, anons! >>12788 >There are several confusing sentences Can you please point them out, so I can fix that?
>>12796 Sure, I'll give it another read-over and pick them out sometime tonight.
>>12796 >>12797 Done, here's from one pass taking notes: Typos/Misspellings/Grammar: >24. "Aplle Bloom" >33. "so many stuff" Unless Scootaloo is meant to have bad grammar here for effect, this should be "so much stuff" >74. "You was" Scootaloo line again, should be "You were". I don't remember Scootaloo having bad grammar in the show. >94. "Not a longer" delete "a" >214. "she should have been keep running" >223. "Scotaloo" Confusing lines: 32. The first sentence starts out with the subject "everything" and the second starts with the subject "both". I am expecting a separate descriptor/action to go with the subject "both", but that is in the first sentence so "both" and "everything" turn out to be functionally the same subject. This would be fixed by merging the two sentences which could be done in a few ways. Personally I would do this: "Both the well-established wooden pavilions of Ponyville regulars and covered wagons of guest traders were draped in colorful fabric, decorated with sunflowers" 191. “and actual mice wouldn’t want to have anything to do with any of that till Opal is here.” when I read that it makes it seem like the mice would rather be there when opal is there, which logically is the opposite of what they want. My best guess is that you mixed up and said "is" but forgot to add the suffix "'nt" or word "not". Side note: During dialogue with more than two characters I would be able to read faster and hear it in the right voice more consistently if there was a clear indication of who is talking in every line. I could always tell through either explicit statement or context who was saying what line, but sometimes I found myself having to think for a second and process it. For simplicity sometimes initials work good for this because they communicate to the reader without effecting the sentence flow. Initials have the potential issue of looking tacky, but that's less of a problem for a greentext format than a book. The more advanced way of getting this right would be refining what you have. There are plenty of lines that despite no explicit statement I read in the correct voice because the context was strong, and if you comb over a text long enough you can make every line like that. I'm not confident enough in my skill as a reader to point out any specific examples. (Seriously, it took me over an hour to read this even when I wasn't taking notes; two hours exactly to read it while making this post. Not to mention that I often get distracted by my thoughts when reading which contributes to disorientation; sometimes if it's a real book I'll read a whole page and realize I didn't comprehend a single sentence because I was just reading the words as white noise and thinking some entirely unrelated thought. Another common issue is when I loop and keep re-reading the same line over and over like a broken record. TLDR take everything I say with a grain of salt) Some more specific things I enjoyed: >The turnup being a fail, the pets carrying the act, and the commentary from AJ and friends in the audience. >Scootaloo Pulling sweetie Belle's tail. >Dashie helping Scootaloo eat a caramel apple. >Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. >The sweet picnic scene at the end.
>>12799 I appreciate the thorough answer! Especially for highlighting what parts of the story stood out for you. It's nice, at least for me, as a writefag to know which of your ideas people found interesting. I will check and fix the flaws.
>>12761 We could do new years; It would be particularly interesting to make the setting a new years celebration of a year before princess Luna was banished. We would have to coordinate what it would look like and other specifics of the theme before making art but it has potential.
>>12805 >new years celebration of a year before princess Luna was banished Sounds like a very cool idea, honestly. The only thing I'm afraid of is that prompt may become too gloomy or dark, contrary to the spirit of new year celebration. May be we should bring in an additional flair to the theme by also imagining what the first new year *after* Luna's return would've been like? That way people who like things more morose and those who like wholesome would be balanced? Those who would like may even do the both prompts, to make a juxtaposition.
>>12804 Glad I could be of assistance; gives me some reading practice too. >>12809 I didn't mean the year before she was banished, just some year in that distant time not covered by the show. The idea would be to explore how different Equestria was back then with a younger Celestia and Luna, not necessarily centering on the banishment (although it could). As a snapshot of a distant past the tone would be happy, internally at least, even though we have the outside knowledge that those times won't last forever. Alternately we could have every image/story be about a different new years celebration and have them tell a story spanning across time (that would be much harder to coordinate well than one or two specific years). I'm most in favor of us doing one specific year in the times when Princess Luna and Princess Celestia first ruled together or even when they were fillies if we want to go way back.
>>12812 Oh, now I get it. Yes, that sounds amazing. >I'm most in favor of us doing one specific year in the times when Princess Luna and Princess Celestia first ruled together or even when they were fillies if we want to go way back. Freshly crowned Royal Sisters receive their first new year presents, as rulers, from the various foreign dignitaries, mmmm...
>>12805 >ye olden Equestria Would be pretty cool. Probably want to brainstorm potential ideas for a few themes before deciding on one.
Wanted to ask, can I make my two entries public on ponepaste or is it better to wait?
>>12858 The pack is released, I see no reason to wait. Maybe you could put a link back here so people might find the other stuff as well? Not strictly necessary but I think it would be nice.
>>12752 OP, do you have any statistics available from the folder? Like how many times it was downloaded or how many people visited it? Just curious.
>>12881 Good question, I'd like to know too.
>>12881 Unfortunately Mega does not provide any such stats to my knowledge.
So, anyone wants discuss anything?
>>12887 Yes, but I haven't been as active lately because I'm busy. I'll add that the theme does not have to be tied to an event so it could be anything.
>>12887 Mares!
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We have Winter Wrap Up early in spring. Why won't we try to imagine what Winter Unwrap could be like? Maybe pegasi making snow to cover the winter crops and other plants to make them warm during the winter? Rarity making pillows and blankets for critters and their lairs? Fluttershy making sure rodents and others got enough food stored for the winter? Twilight instructing young birds on their first flight according to what's written in her geographic atlas?
>>12901 Don't forget the Running of the Leaves
>>12901 >>12902 Both of these are good concepts but Running of the Leaves is happening right now and snow will fall in a few months. Winter Unwrap is possible but it's tight.
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>>12901 Really like the idea of Rarity making jewel bedazzled blankets for critters.
>>12926 I can already envision Fluttershy asking the question: >These are nice and all, but how are the jewels going to help keep things warm?
>>12941 Maybe she'll use magical jewels that emit heat?
>>13060 >enchanted jewels Interesting idea. Have we seen anything like that in the show? Usually magical items don't end up so well.
>>13073 Maybe I remember incorrectly, but I thought there was a point in the show where the campfire was made out of red crystals or something like that. Or, maybe I'm just confusing it with someone's artwork. I used it in one of the stories I wrote as a magical item that merely emits heat. Ponys used it to heat their stoves for cooking; something you might buy at the hardware store in Ponyville or something.
Soooooooooo...

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